Honestly? (Oh now I’m being honest??) It wasn’t so much that I wanted to tell you as I wanted an excuse to go on a reportorial mission to Babeland. Which I did and man oh Manischewitz was it ever fun! Everyone should hang at Babeland, all the time, always. Mama loves her some Babeland.
So here’s the good word, broken down by material type, from the lovely, lovely experts in all things Play Toy:
Silicone, no motor: Soap & water; before first use and/or between bodies or orifices boil for 8-10 minutes (“just like spaghetti!”) to disinfect.
Glass: Soap & water; be careful not to apply extreme heat (“just like a drinking glass!”).
Pyrex: Soap & water; before first use and/or between bodies or orifices boil for 8-10 minutes to disinfect.
Stainless Steel: Soap & water; if your toy has no motor, boil for 8-10 minutes to disinfect before first use and/or between bodies or orifices.
Hard Plastic: Soap & water.
Elastomer and TPR: Soap & water.
Wood: Soap & water.
Stone: Soap & water; before first use and/or between bodies or orifices boil for 8-10 minutes to disinfect.
Jelly Rubber: Soap & water.
Cyberskin: It’s made of mineral oil, so wash with as little soap as possible, if you must use soap at all. Further instructions on the care of cyberskin can be found on the Fleshlight website.
General Tips, Thoughts, Advice from the Babes:
“You can wash a whole load of dildoes in the top rack of the dishwasher. Just don’t use soap.”
“Don’t use anything you wouldn’t put in your body. Dishsoap, rubbing alcohol, bleach …” (Sniffle. <3 u Bleachie.)
Make sure your toys are completely dry before storing them.
If you’re using a toy with a motor that isn’t waterproof, don’t put it under water. Opt instead to wipe it down with a soapy cloth.
Use a condom for easy clean up or when in doubt.
Hard plastic, elastomer, TPR, and jelly rubber are all porous. You must must must use a condom if you are going to share toys made of those materials with a partner.
And finally: “Toy cleaner is great for when you just can’t get out of bed.”
This article originally appeared on The Hairpin on 15 September 2011
“Happily, there is a solution, says Jolie Kerr. The author of My Boyfriend Barfed in My Handbag … and Other Things You Can’t Ask Martha told the Cut she was familiar with the springtime scourge of BIBO, both in her capacity as the internet’s cleaning guru and as a “non-expert and human.””—When Your Spring Wardrobe Smells Like Last Summer’s Sweat - The Cut
Of course it is! You just need to machine wash the thing. BUT. There are some details that are important to know.
Machine wash using COLD WATER ONLY
If you use hot water, you will end up with a nice purse for your favorite dollie
Pretreat really grimy spots with a stain removal product or just with a bit of liquid laundry detergent by scrubbing whichever product you’re using into the stains with a soft toothbrush
Use a fairly small amount of detergent
Air dry only
When you remove the tote from the washing machine it will appear mangled and wrinkled—do not worry about this! Just reshape the bag as best you can and allow it to air dry; once it’s dry you’ll notice the wrinkles are gone
The bag will likely shrink a bit, and it will not be as stiff as it was in its original state (i.e. it will look & feel more broken-in)
Due to the volume of requests for email notifications, I created a newsletter to which you can subscribe: tinyletter.com/joliekerr. Emails will be mostly about new columns and Year of the Clean Person updates, with a few odds & ends tossed in. Oh and book news! Of course there will be those!