May 2013
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WatchThere’s video of last night’s How To Be A Grown Ass Woman event available online if you’ve got an hour to kill. You should watch it! Lindy, Logan, Twanna and I had a ton of fun. Lots of laughter. And wine drinking. And advice giving.
There’s a discussion of ‘pit stains at about the 12 minute mark; bra washing comes in at about the 26 minute mark. Enjoy!
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Spring Cleaning Made Easy
I did an interview with WNYC’s Amy Eddings in advance of tonight’s event, talking all things Spring Cleaning. Enjoy!
A Fabric That Makes Dry Cleaners Shudder |... →
Fantastic article about the lengths (haaaaaa!) women go to to clean their saris. I’ll be wearing my mother’s 40-year-old wedding sari at our rehearsal dinner this Fall, and have already made note of the methods for home and professional cleaning mentioned within.
Oh and dear God the jar of pickle that opened up in a suitcase is the thing of nightmares, truly.
April 2013
14 posts
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Help! I Buttered My Car! →
Whoop! Squalor is back on — I hope you enjoy it, but more importantly please donate to Roseann’s fundraising site to help her on the road to recovery after Monday’s bombing.
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Creating: Kevin Giddings, the Queen's Chimney... →
This entire thing is an utter delight, but this!
To be sure he has reached the top of a chimney, Mr. Giddings asks customers to stand outside the house and confirm they can see the top of the brush peeking out from the roof.
Everyone else is imagining Queen Elizabeth outside the palace shouting, “A bit higher, Giddings! No, still a bit higher!” yes? Yes.
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Against Womansplaining: The Problem With Advice By... →
Yeah well screw you too, Wendy Kaminer. (Psst … your home is probably filthy.)
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March 2013
7 posts
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February 2013
20 posts
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How I Learned to Love Bra Washing | Elisabeth... →
Aren’t you guys glad you have me around to spare you from “Bra Laundering by Oprah” type posts?
It’s called “intimate” apparel for good reason. I should treat my bras the same way I’d want an intimate partner to handle my breasts: with respect, tenderness, and a gentle touch. That’s living my breast life.
(Still though, wash your bras.)
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Portland Hospital Fire Hand Sanitizer Investigated →
cleaning-blog:
This hospital fire only demonstrates that alcohol-based hand sanitizer is a danger.
Hand Sanitizer Fire
Hand sanitizer will kill you with antibiotic-resistant strains of germs AND fire.
katetodate asked: Sorry, I'm trying to go through your archives but can't find any All-Clad results. HELP! I have those light brown spots on my new saucepan. What to use to remove? Can they be removed? Do I need Barkeeper's Friend? How to avoid this issue in future? I would like my precious pans to eventually have a nice weathered look but this is a BRAND NEW PAN and I am having all kinds of issues...
Cleaning Before the Cleaning Lady Comes Is... →
According to this lady EVERY person who has a cleaning lady cleans before the cleaning lady cleans. EVERY person. ALL of ‘em. She must have taken a poll!
According to me this lady should learn how words work.
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Anonymous asked: Hello, Dearest Jolie, Queen of the Clean! I have a bright orange stain/solidified splodge in my carpet. It's because of wine (isn't everything?) that I was drinking whilst polishing my nails the aforementioned bright orange. I may have been slightly drunk, painting slightly messily (shame on me, Jane!) and dropping my polish brush on the (beige carpeted) floor. I don't want to lose...
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10 Apps to Spice Up Your Sex Life | Mashable →
No snark from me about using an app to spice up your sex life — and actually, some of these are pretty neat! — but if you decide to go in for number 3, Sexy Vibes, the app that “turns your cellphone into a vibrator/massager” please do consider purchasing some isopropyl alcohol or tech wipes (Windex makes good ones!) to clean off your telephone after you’re done fucking it.
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Sylvia Plath Died 50 Years Ago Today. Won't You...
I recently moved and ended up with a stove that does not have a self-clean function. The previous owners must have used it to smelt iron or char Barbie dolls in their off hours, because the inside of this oven is a MESS.
I’ve tried turning it on once since moving in to see if I could burn some of it off, but I had to abort the mission after the smell proved too overpowering for my delicate...
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Ask a Clean Person: Indoor Activities
Here in New York it’s hailing and sleeting and the snow is just starting to stick. And while the storm is a great excuse to binge-watch a TV series on Netflix (may I suggest House of Cards?), or plow through a great novel, or cook up some righteous comfort foods (I’ve got chicken curry on the brain), when you start getting really stir crazy a project that will get you moving is just...
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The $100,000 Closet | WSJ.com →
She hired a designer to create a 400-square-foot master closet with a flat-screen television, a refrigerator for Champagne, white cabinetry with silver-leaf etchings and a large crystal chandelier. Total cost: $100,000.
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January 2013
32 posts
Treating Salt Stains on Suede Boots, And General...
I recently purchased a beautiful pair of suede boots, and am realizing that here in upstate NY it’s about to be winter. I don’t know where exactly you’re from, but for me, winter means salty slush. The main problem I have with salty slush is that it soaks into my boots, and when it dries, it leaves crusty salty residue behind. Any tips on how to clean/prevent these weird salty...
