Jolie Kerr

The Great Bra Washing Extravaganza | Jezebel Oh my gosh, you...

Fri, 24 May 2013 09:13:20 -0400

The Great Bra Washing Extravaganza | Jezebel

Oh my gosh, you guys! The response to this was incredible! I’ve gotten emails from bra fitters, belly dancers, costume designers, a hundred new moms who are all like, “Nuuuuuuuursing braaaaaaaaaas oh my God what even???” (We will talk about your nursing bras. Promise.)

The comments have also been amazing, and I can’t encourage you enough to get in there and ask questions not only of me but of each other because there’s a lot of breast-on-breast helping going on. Never let it be said that the gals at Jezebel can’t get right into the Kumbaya spirit, people.

Help! How Do I Get That Old-Man-Pee Smell Out Of My...

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:28:39 -0400

Help! How Do I Get That Old-Man-Pee Smell Out Of My Bathroom?

The illustrations just get better and better and better oh my God.

There’s video of last night’s How To Be A Grown Ass...

Tue, 14 May 2013 10:28:00 -0400

Video of last night's How To Be A Grown Ass Woman event is available if you've got an hour to kill! You should watch it, Lindy, Logan, Twanna and I had SUCH a good time. Lots of laughing going on. And wine drinking. And advice-giving. A discussion of 'pit stains begins at about the 12 minute mark, bra washing comes in at about the 26 minute mark.

There’s video of last night’s How To Be A Grown Ass Woman event available online if you’ve got an hour to kill. You should watch it! Lindy, Logan, Twanna and I had a ton of fun. Lots of laughter. And wine drinking. And advice giving.

There’s a discussion of ‘pit stains at about the 12 minute mark; bra washing comes in at about the 26 minute mark. Enjoy!

Spring Cleaning Made Easy

Mon, 13 May 2013 15:02:00 -0400

I did an interview with WNYC’s Amy Eddings in advance of tonight’s event, talking all things Spring Cleaning. Enjoy!

How to Be a Grown A$$ Woman | The Greene Space This is tonight!...

Mon, 13 May 2013 11:33:03 -0400

How to Be a Grown A$$ Woman | The Greene Space

This is tonight! You should totally come because it will be bananaaaaaaaas.

Or you could watch us live over here from the comfort of your own home. Either way!

A Fabric That Makes Dry Cleaners Shudder | NYTimes.com

Sat, 11 May 2013 09:40:50 -0400

A Fabric That Makes Dry Cleaners Shudder | NYTimes.com:

Fantastic article about the lengths (haaaaaa!) women go to to clean their saris. I’ll be wearing my mother’s 40-year-old wedding sari at our rehearsal dinner this Fall, and have already made note of the methods for home and professional cleaning mentioned within.

Oh and dear God the jar of pickle that opened up in a suitcase is the thing of nightmares, truly.

This is a portion of the Selected Terms/Proper Names from the...

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:25:47 -0400

This is a portion of the Selected Terms/Proper Names from the Style Sheet the copy editor charged with my manuscript returned to me.

That poor, poor copy editor. Also included: Fleshlights, Morrissey, Lilly Pulitzer.

Artistic mopping. Be still my bleaching heart!

Wed, 01 May 2013 09:47:14 -0400

Artistic mopping. Be still my bleaching heart!

How to Be a Grown A$$ Woman | The Greene Space Do you want to...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 14:26:22 -0400

How to Be a Grown A$$ Woman | The Greene Space

Do you want to come hear me talk about cleaning? HERE IS YOUR CHANCE.

Do you know where you’re spending your money? Do you know how to get rid of unsightly pit stains? Do you own a set of wine glasses? Do you want to know how to be a grown up? What about being a grown-up lady?
Join Jezebel writer and full-time moral scold Lindy West, author of How to Be a Person, for a night of booze, music and advice on being a Grown A$$ Woman. She’ll be joined byTwanna Hines, the FunkyBrownChick who isn’t afraid to talk sex, love and all things in between; Gawker’s Ask a Clean Person Jolie Kerr, a master at cleaning up our messes; and Logan Sachon, co-editor of TheBillfold, the site that deals with “everything about money you were too polite to ask.”

Come to this live event to ask your questions, bring your dirty laundry (figuratively and literally), and be part of a radio pilot at The Greene Space! Are you ready to be a Grown A$$ Woman?

How To Clean Up Your Nail Polish Stains | Jezebel In my pitch...

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:16:17 -0400

How To Clean Up Your Nail Polish Stains | Jezebel

In my pitch letter, I allowed for the possibility of renaming my column because I understand that territoriality and differentiation are important things to a great many people.

When the decision was made to rebrand AaCP as Squalor I was A-OK with it. I like Squalor! But I’d be fibbing something rotten if I didn’t admit that it pleases me beyond reason that, in the end, Ask a Clean Person reasserted itself.

Keep Tall Boots from Slouching with Binder Clips |...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 08:49:00 -0400

Keep Tall Boots from Slouching with Binder Clips | Lifehacker

SOME THINGS:

1. THE PHOTO HERE ILLUSTRATES THE USE OF FLIP FLOPS TO KEEP TALL BOOTS STANDING UPRIGHT

2. THE POST IS ABOUT THE USE OF BINDER CLIPS TO KEEP TALL BOOTS STANDING UPRIGHT

3. THE POST DOES NOT INCLUDE THE VERY IMPORTANT INSTRUCTION TO PLACE A PIECE OF FOAM RUBBER BETWEEN THE BOOT AND THE BINDER CLIP TO KEEP THE BINDER CLIP FROM DAMAGING THE BOOT

4. I AM YELLING TO KEEP FROM SCREAMING

5. [ALL THE EXASPERATED SIGHS]

Help! I Buttered My Car!

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 17:17:00 -0400

Help! I Buttered My Car!:

Whoop! Squalor is back on — I hope you enjoy it, but more importantly please donate to Roseann’s fundraising site to help her on the road to recovery after Monday’s bombing.

justsayjolie: Roseann’s Recovery Fund | GoFundMe Roseann Sdoia...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 14:04:02 -0400

justsayjolie:

Roseann’s Recovery Fund | GoFundMe

Roseann Sdoia was seriously injured in Monday’s bombing; please consider donating to her recovery fund. Roseann is the best friend of my friend and former Bain coworker Dawn — this is what we mean when we talk about Boston being a small town dressed up in city clothing.

Hey gang, quick update on Boston Things: because of today’s goings on, Squalor will run on Deadspin on Monday rather than today. That column will include a link to Roseann’s fundraising site, but in the interim I’m making it available here with a request that you donate if you’re able to do so, along with asking that you share the link on whatever social media platforms you use.

I spoke to my friend Dawn yesterday, and she said that Roseann is in very good spirits, and that President Obama visited with her at MGH during his trip to Boston.

My thanks to all of you for your generosity and prayers for Roseann. xoJK

justsayjolie: You guys. Oh my God, you guys. Okay so! You know...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 17:26:30 -0400

justsayjolie:

You guys.

Oh my God, you guys.

Okay so! You know how generally I’m really nice about the cleaning stuff and I just want us to get our things looking nice and then sing Kumbaya together while we watch our panties spin about in the laundry and maybe enjoy a nice glass of wine with ice along the way? Yes, you know that. But I’m reminding you of it now so you’ll forgive this very bossy outburst I’m about to burst out:

THIS STUFF. YOU MUST ALL GO BUY THIS STUFF RIGHT NOW. (I bought mine in a grocery store in Delaware because when I travel I like to come home with souvenirs. But I will scour New York for local sources. Maybe even artisanal sources. Ha ha no I won’t do that.)(Also by ‘New York’ I mean ‘Manhattan’ because Brooklyn probably thinks stains are, like, cool and authentic or some such bullshit.)

I used a teeny tiny lil’ bit as a spot treatment on a brand new shirt my fiancé bought himself as a reward for sitting through Catholic Marriage Lessons and then promptly soiled with an ink stain. ANYway. His attempts — at my direction; don’t worry, he doesn’t go into these things without consulting with me — to remove the stain proved futile, so I instructed him to leave the shirt with me for proper care and feeding. I put a teeny little bit of this stuff on the stain and by the time I went back to try to find the other stains he’d directed me to seek out THE STAIN WAS GONE. I hadn’t even laundered the shirt yet.

I REPEAT: THIS STUFF TOOK OUT A SET-IN INK STAIN WITHOUT THE BENEFIT OF LAUNDERING. GO BUY IT IMMEDIATELY.

Okay I will stop being so bossy now. Sorry. I’m really very, very hungry. (The wine helps the hunger.)(But maybe not so much the yelling and general bossiness.)

I’m so hungry I posted this on the wrong blog.

Creating: Kevin Giddings, the Queen's Chimney Sweep, Comes Clean | WSJ.com

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 10:37:03 -0400

Creating: Kevin Giddings, the Queen's Chimney Sweep, Comes Clean | WSJ.com:

This entire thing is an utter delight, but this!

To be sure he has reached the top of a chimney, Mr. Giddings asks customers to stand outside the house and confirm they can see the top of the brush peeking out from the roof.

Everyone else is imagining Queen Elizabeth outside the palace shouting, “A bit higher, Giddings! No, still a bit higher!” yes? Yes.

How To Clean Your Roller Derby Pads and Make Your Computer Less...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 17:05:50 -0400

How To Clean Your Roller Derby Pads and Make Your Computer Less Gross | Squalor on Jezebel

Against Womansplaining: The Problem With Advice By and For Strangers | Wendy Kaminer, The Atlantic

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 14:27:01 -0400

Against Womansplaining: The Problem With Advice By and For Strangers | Wendy Kaminer, The Atlantic:

Yeah well screw you too, Wendy Kaminer. (Psst … your home is probably filthy.)

Help! What Can I Do About My Stinky Feet? | Deadspin This week,...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:22:00 -0400

Help! What Can I Do About My Stinky Feet? | Deadspin

This week, as promised, Deadspin’s version of La Squals took on the subject of rank feet and grungy tennis whites.

EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 09:46:16 -0400

EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT THIS

Is your limp hair in need of a boost of volume? When...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 08:53:53 -0400

Is your limp hair in need of a boost of volume? When you’re low on your go-to arsenal or volumizers and root lifters, laundry starch can do the trick for a strong hold that lasts throughout the day.

Yeah … you know what, Good Housekeeping? I’m just not sure I’m with you on this one.